Over the past couple of days, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking in an outward sense. Usually, my mind is racing about some introspective thought or attempt at personal analysis. It helps me grow, I feel. But of late, people I know or know of have been doing things that really make me scratch my head and feel confused about the drive behind people’s actions.

I know someone who I will call Gustav. Gustav separated and divorced his now ex-wife two years ago. A few months back when he went to renew his custom license plate tags, he found out that his ex was contesting the ownership of said tag. This tag is something he came up with to describe the car he drove, was intended for him, and kept after their separation. So why, after two years, would this person still try to antagonize him?

I don’t have any ex-wives, so maybe I just don’t grasp the depths of hatred possible for another human being, but I feel like the more I didn’t like someone the less I’d be inclined to do something like that.

I think about the festering thoughts this person’s carried over Gustav for the past two years. It had to have consumed her. It has to be something that rules her day, even now. I wonder if people who try to antagonize and hurt someone else realize exactly how much power they are giving to that person.

Gustav doesn’t think about his ex at all. He’s moved on, and moved forward. He’s got his whole life to live. When someone tries to make a nuisance of themselves after so long, it’s really difficult to say they’ve done the same. Which, to me, is sad and laughable at the same time.

It’s laughable in that this person, by their own actions, have equated themselves to some mustache twirling villain that’d throw the damsel in distress on the train tracks. They’ve turned into caricatures of what a whole, complete person should be capable of being. They’re Rita Repulsa, looking down on Angel Grove while these kids go on with their lives not caring about her at all while she’s spending every waking moment trying to hurt them. Is their life so uneventful and empty that they even have time to spend on someone they don’t like? It takes some effort to contest ownership of a license plate, or to do anything to really try to hurt someone or get in their way. It’s a commitment. Don’t they have their own lives to live? Something better to do? What are they even trying to get out of it?

I think the answer to that last question is why I find it so sad. I actually pity people like this. I look past whatever barbs they have to throw and go straight to feeling bad for them. Think about it. Cindy thinks Susie is a bad person for reasons X, Y, and Z. Cindy, because of this, will do M to Susie to hurt her. M takes some concerted effort, and Cindy is sure to do it under the guise of anonymity in order to not receive any blowback. They have an image to upkeep as being someone above this kind of cowardly and childish behavior, after all.

By simple logic, Cindy is at best making themselves out to be as bad as their perception of Susie is, and more than likely they are worse. If Susie’s never done anything to Cindy and goes about her life not particularly concerning herself with Cindy’s life, isn’t there a disparity there that speaks volumes? Cindy is just sitting off on the side so moved and affected by Susie’s actions that have nothing to do with her that they get the inclination to do something to hurt them. Susie’s become that big and important in Cindy’s life.

Cindy can’t be happy as a person. They may have a facade that says as much, and they may deny it as much as they want, but I just don’t see how someone completely happy with their life bothers taking overt actions to antagonize someone.

I’m pretty happy with my life. I have a great job that pays my bills and lets me buy pretty much anything I want that is 10 minutes from my house by way of my convertible. I have family that loves me, a handful of good friends, and am in a relationship with one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met.

If I didn’t like someone and there was some way I could hurt them, I just wouldn’t bother. The time spent doing that, no matter how small or insignificant, is better spent living my life and enjoying my happiness. That person isn’t in my life. No matter how good or bad their lives are, or what they’re feeling, or anything about them they are not worth the effort of consciously acknowledging to that extent. I have better things to do and better people to do them with.

Cindy or Gustav’s ex just can’t say the same thing. They need to try to pull other people down to their level and make them hurt as much as they are. They need to find enjoyment out of something negative, because they don’t have much to enjoy that comes out of something positive.

When I was thinking about all of this, two questions really came to mind. Could these people tell their mother about what they’ve done in full detail and not feel completely embarrassed?  Could they tell their children about what they’ve done in full detail without feeling ashamed? That’s been a metric of mine lately. If I would be embarrassed or ashamed by something if it were placed in front of some of the most important people in my life, chances are I probably shouldn’t be doing it.

I imagine Cindy as a mother. They sit there and explain to their 7 year old daughter how they went out of their way to harass Susie and try to hurt her feelings. How she sat there and waited, literally months, and checked every day for the opportunity. I just imagine how that kid would feel about their mom. Or how Cindy’s mom would feel about her to find out that rather than living her own life and bettering herself she’s trying and failing to hurt someone else’s kid.

Perhaps I am just overanalyzing things. I have a habit of doing that, but to me the logic is pretty sound. I get a good chuckle out of people like Cindy or Gustav’s ex-wife, and then I feel bad for them.