The makers of Grand Theft Auto V were probably looking to evoke a lot of things from the game\u2019s players throughout its\u00a0single player story. The game has no shortage of crime, vulgarity, grit, and juvenile humor. I wonder if they meant to convey such a resonating notion of friendship and loyalty. It could very well be my ability to pick up things that probably aren\u2019t even there at play, but you never know.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a part of the story where one of the supporting characters has gotten themselves into trouble, again, and they subsequently need saving. At first, I\u00a0hated the idea of going to help this character. This character\u2019s screwed up so many times and seemingly just didn\u2019t want to learn, so why should the character you\u2019re controlling at the time bother helping them? They\u2019re just going to get themselves in trouble again. It seemed like a waste. It, to me, logically made more sense to just write this character off and move on.<\/p>\n
But you don\u2019t get that choice, so you have to go over and help this character out. Gunfights and calamity ensue, but you\u2019re able to save this character. Instead of offering much in the way of thanks, the saved character almost starts criticizing the character who saved them. Accusing them of forgetting where they came from and only looking out for themselves. There\u2019s a bit of wounded pride in the subtext, like this character felt abandoned and had to make due on their own.<\/p>\n
I wanted my character to just shoot this character in the face right then, but again it wasn\u2019t an option. Later on in the story, the saved character needs to help the main character, and he offers up his services without a moment\u2019s hesitation. All squabbling was put aside and he was ready to stick his neck out at a moment\u2019s notice.<\/p>\n
Before, I had so heavily focused on the lack of intelligence and efficiency this character had in going about things that I could not see the concept of friendship and loyalty. In that, I got a lot of insight into how I look at the world. After the supporting character helps the main character, there\u2019s a mutual sense of family and unity. There\u2019s even an \u2018I love you, bro\u2019 thrown in there which was somewhat surprising.<\/p>\n
It made me think that maybe it\u2019s not about how many times people screw up, or how often they\u2019re prone to screwing up. It\u2019s more about being there for each other when the other needs help. The logical side of me can only push this idea but so far, but it\u2019s really brought to light my track record of not being the most forgiving person ever.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve, historically, been pretty quick to write people off. It\u2019s not something I\u2019m particularly proud of, but it\u2019s true and I wouldn\u2019t be growing as a person if I flat out ignored it. The scenarios and situations all vary, but some are more arguable than others. All of them, however, probably could have lead to salvaged relationships had I only stepped back from my position on whatever the topic was. It\u2019s a curious realization to make.<\/p>\n
I hold such high expectations for myself. I\u2019m kicking myself for not having set up asynchronous client updating based on SQL database changes for the website version of the DM RP system I\u2019m writing, and I don\u2019t allow myself to realize that sites like this are usually developed by TEAMS of people who have YEARS of experience and that some might find it to be pretty remarkable that I\u2019ve gotten as far as I have in the time that I have. But I don\u2019t feel any comfort or pride in that. I want to be able to figure this stuff out. Now. And anything less than that is a failure of some extent.<\/p>\n
And that sense of being a perfectionist and having what are most likely unusually high standards have bled over into my expectations of other people. Looking back, there have been times where I\u2019ve flat out expected someone to read my mind and that\u2019s not fair. There have been times when I, even now, still feel like someone made a pretty big mistake, but I didn\u2019t do much to offer forgiveness or understanding. I either walked out of their life or I let them walk out of mine without much resistance over either outcome.<\/p>\n
And that\u2019s really not a way to live. At least, it\u2019s not the way I want to live going forward. People make mistakes. I sure as Hell have made my share. Some people have lapses in judgment. Some people don\u2019t see other perspectives. Some people don\u2019t see the extent of the damage their actions can cause. I\u2019ve been one of these people in every instance, so who am I to feel like others can\u2019t be?<\/p>\n
I think the emotional wall I usually keep up\u00a0has done a lot to bar me from showing that kind of forgiveness or understanding. Sometimes I\u2019ve leaned too heavily on pride when I should have just said, \u2018Hey. That hurt my feelings\u2019. Again, not something I\u2019m really proud of. I\u2019ve lived so much of my life looking at things with this logical lens with a firm barrier up between me and the rest of the world that it\u2019s hard to have any other perspective. This whole \u2018letting people in\u2019 thing is pretty hard for me. It\u2019s something I may struggle with for the rest of my life, but that\u2019s a struggle I want to take on.<\/p>\n
I want to give a damn about people, and I want people to give a damn about me. The people who are worth giving a damn about, to be specific. I\u2019m not trying to gather everyone\u2019s favor.<\/p>\n
I think about some of the people I don\u2019t talk to anymore sometimes. I don\u2019t really see myself reaching out to any of them. They probably have formed solidified opinions of me for one reason or another, and in their mind they\u2019re completely right in having it. I think about whether I\u2019d be willing to mend some of those fences, or if it\u2019d even be possible. I\u2019m honestly not sure. Whether or not I speak to them again, the time I knew them serves as an experience I can grow and learn from.<\/p>\n
A game about senseless violence and destruction taught me that it\u2019s more about weathering storms with the people who care about you than it is to be right or wrong.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The makers of Grand Theft Auto V were probably looking to evoke a lot of things from the game\u2019s players throughout its\u00a0single player story. The game has no shortage of crime, vulgarity, grit, and juvenile humor. I wonder if they meant to convey such a resonating notion of friendship and loyalty. It could very well … Continue reading GTAV and Forgiveness<\/span>